30 days of Honesty

Okay, so I stole this from a friend’s blog and have been working on it for some time.  I found it awfully interesting and so I figured I would share my 30 days with you all as my welcome.  Might as well get all the skeletons out of the closet.  You’re supposed to do these over 30 days, but did not want to wait to post them all (I’m obviously not patient!).  Here goes.

Here are the categories:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.- I hate that I still have trouble trusting people, including my husband.  No one I love has given me reason to doubt or be untrusting, but I do find myself often questions people’s motives or intentions.  It is very bothersome to me and wish that it was something I could just fix and make go away.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.- I love that I am as smart as I am.  A little cocky, I know, but my intelligence has always been something that makes me proud. 
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.- Lying to someone I loved a long time.  I had what I thought were good intentions and no one got hurt, but I will never forget that lie and it weighs heavy on me to this day.  I was a teenager then though and have come to accept the fact that I am allowed some mistakes in life.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.- My mother told me when I was 17 that she wished I was never born and that her life would be much better without me.  She said she only had me to keep my father in her life and that now that she realized he loved me more, she wished I hadn’t been born.  That has always stuck with me, though I did “forgive” her after to make her feel better.  I still hold that very close to my heart. 
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.- Succeed at being a wife and mother.  As a wife, I’m not very good in the domestic sense, but I love my husband more than life itself and I hope that I can be a great mom soon. 
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.- Leave the ones that I love.  No matter what the reason, I hope I never have to do that. 
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.- My husband 🙂  I love that man more than anything in this world.  I told him the only person I’ll love more is this baby and he said, “well of course you will!  You’re supposed to!”  That just made me fall in love all over again.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.- My mother…as I said before we don’t have the best relationship and she still to this day treats me like crap. 
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.- My best friend Christa.  She moved to Kansas and we were close for a long time and then just drifted apart.  I miss her so much, but it’s hard to reconnect so many years later.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.- This is tough…I think all the people I’ve ever known have had an impact on my life in some way and I wouldn’t wish to not have known them. 
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.- My dedication to whatever I’m doing.  I’ve always gotten great compliments on how once I apply myself, I can do anything. 
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.-My teeth…need some good dental work.  I mean don’t get me wrong I don’t have jacked up teeth, but they could be a lot better.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days- I don’t have a specific band or artist.  I listen to country music to calm down, so I would say that as a category.
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down- Again, I’d have to say my mom.  She used to be my world as a kid and now she scares me with how far from sane she is and how little she cares about us.
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.- I couldn’t live without my hubby.  Before we got married we had a bit of a rough patch and we tried a seperation and realized we couldn’t live without each other.  It was too hard to be away. 
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.- I could live without having to work!!!  Haha!  I’ve always had stressful jobs, so I could definitely live without work for a while.  Hoping to enjoy the next 7 weeks off.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.- Hiroshima.  That book was so graphic and made me really consider my views on war, politics, humanity, etc.  Read with caution though, it is very graphic.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.- I think that homosexual individuals should be able to get married same as straight individuals.  It makes no sense to me why anyone would think otherwise.  We all “choose” who we love and for them, it just so happens to be someone of the same sex. 
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?- I think everyone has the right to their own opinions…that’s it.
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.- I will always be against drug use.  I have some family who use marijuana for recreational purposes and that’s okay, but I wouldn’t condone anything else.  As for alcohol, I am all hands in!  I love to enjoy a good drink and don’t see anything wrong with drinking as long as you know your limits and do not drink in excess.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?- Get to her as soon as possible and try to help her in any way I can.  I’d apologize profusely the entire time.
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.- Took a break from school.  When I got my Bachelors I was accepted to a Masters program, but chose to wait.  4 years later and I am just now getting back.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.- Traveled more early on.  I know there’s still plenty of time as I get older, but I wish I would have taken advantage of being young and having no responsibilities.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs- This is tough.  My song to my SIL- “Don’t stop believin”, My brother, “The thunder rolls”, My hubby, “I don’t wanna know” (long story and really no relevance, but it is an unspoken joke). 
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.- I think God has a plan for us all and if I’m alive today then I still have something to give.  I’m growing this wonderful child in me as we speak, so for all I know, he is that reason.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?- Yes when I thought I’d lost the one person I loved the most.  It was very difficult, but I managed to get through it.  That was many many years ago.
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?- My marriage and my expecting parenthood.  I’m more happy now than I’ve ever been.
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?- Well, since I am pregnant, I would say raise this child as best as I can and teach him everything I know.  I would also raise him to have higher expectations for himself and to accomplish more.
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.- My weight.  I’ve let myself go over the years and after this baby comes, this is definitely something I’m planning on changing.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself-Dear Michelle, You are a beautiful, smart, independent woman.  Remember that you have the ability to do anything that you set your mind to if you just try.

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Hello world!

Hello World!!!

My name is Michelle and I am 26 yrs old, married to a wonderful man for the last 4 1/2 years and anxiously expecting our first child any day now.  Going to be home for the next 7 weeks or so and figured I’d give blogging a try.  We’ll see how that goes!  Here’s to happy bloggin! 🙂